“Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet!”
That quote has absolutely nothing to do with today’s subject, but it makes me laugh, so why not kick this off with a chuckle? However, I am in the process of gathering up 50 years of Christmas decorations for the local thrift stores, and it’s hard deciding what goes and what stays. I started in July, so I guess that does qualify me as a procrastinator.
Here are a few words about the mail (which I never have time to answer — sorry folks!). Readers started weighing in last week as soon as this column came off the press. In case you missed it, the subject was “Unplugging the Christmas Machine” and why I did it 38 years ago. For me, it was a case of surviving the season or else go under from the stress of trying to keep up. Of course, I loved all the positive mail, and no one called me “Scrooge.” I even heard from a classmate I haven’t seen since high school. He wrote, “Bobbie – I loved this and how true it is. In today’s world a great majority of children are spoiled to no end. I have one – my grandson. Have a great Christmas season.”
Here’s one from Kim in Tidewater: “Thank you so much for this message! It reaffirms what I’ve been trying to effect in the lives of my family members. Even my adult nieces are beginning to understand, and I donated to a good cause for the 22 year old’s birthday. Food Share of Lincoln County is a worthy cause, along with so many other charitable organizations! God bless!”
This past week, I was out and about attending fun happenings, which are always going on in this amazing community. Saturday night was the annual Lighted Boat Parade, and this year it was better than ever. I went to Mo’s, which is a dinner fundraiser for the Yaquina Lighthouse, and got lucky with a window seat. One of my favorite entries this year was a boat decorated to resemble a train engine chugging all over the bay.
Sunday was the final performance of “Buddy,” (The Buddy Holly Story) at the Newport Performing Arts Center. If you saw this Porthole Players’ show, you know the PAC was packed. The music was such fun and infectious I swear there were people trying to dance in the aisles because you could not sit still listening to such toe-tapping music.
Whenever I show up at events, I get asked this question, usually more than once: “Are you going to write about this?” I’ve gotten where I simply say “You never know.” This column goes all over the place, and folks who don’t live here aren’t terribly interested in local events. I learned years ago that the typical reader follows this column in case there is something he or she can relate to or, better yet, something to make them laugh.
This leads me to a day brightener from a lady who often sends things that are fun to share. She is over 90, very hip, very cool, and I want to be like her when I grow up. She is not only adept with her computer, but has made herself learn to text because she knows it’s the only way her grandkids will keep in touch. Here is her recent gem.
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Perks of Reaching 60 or Being Over 70 and Heading Toward 80
Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first. No one expects you to run — anywhere.
People call at 8 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
Things you buy now won’t wear out.
You can eat supper at 5 p.m.
You can live without sex, but not without your glasses.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
You notice people send you things in big print for your convenience.
And remember never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night!
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Now I’m headed to the garage to finish packing up those Christmas decorations for folks who can use them. Then I need to run into town and get a card for a special little boy who is turning 3. I will try not to scream if there are already valentines on the card rack.
Bobbie Lippman is a professional writer who lives in Seal Rock with her cat, Purrfect. She is the author of “Good Grief: A Collection of Stories As One Woman Journeys From Heartbreak To Healing Through Honesty and Humor.” The book, with all proceeds going to Rotary International Foundation, is available on Amazon, at JC Market in Newport and directly from Bobbie, who can be contacted at [email protected]