Bobbie's Beat: No politics here


Note to readers regarding your mail: I am well aware of the anger and frustration in our country, but this column has never been a political forum. It is a place where you can turn for humor, inspiration and sometimes tears. The following is as close as I care to go on the subject of politics.

“I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report facts.” — Will Rogers

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There is a folder here in my office full of quotes by Will Rogers, the famous humorist who died in a plane crash in 1935. Much of this material was sent to me by old friends who knew I lived on property once owned by Will Rogers.

This was long ago, and the few happy memories I have of that time was teaching my little girl about horses and riding together on the fire trails all through Will Rogers State Park. If you have ever visited that beautiful park in Pacific Palisades, Calif., you might recall seeing one of Will Roger’s homes, which I think is still open to visitors. In the living room is a swing and also a stuffed calf, which Will Rogers used to practice his roping techniques.

And, I don’t feel the least bit guilty for all the times I galloped one of my horses across the polo field at dusk when no one was there. You can see a photo of the polo field and the ranch house on the Internet. Back in the ’60s the polo field was for members only of an elite club, but I enjoyed breaking their rules, and it was the only flat place in those mountains where you could let a horse run at full speed. Sheer joy!

Here are a few of my favorite quotes by Will Rogers:

  • “Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.”
  • “Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.”
  • “There are two theories to arguing with a woman — neither works.”
  • “Never miss a good chance to shut up.”
  • “Always drink upstream from the herd.”
  • “If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.”
  • “The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.”
  • “There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading and the few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.”
  • “Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.”
  • “If you’re riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.”
  • “Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it in.”
  • “After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot it.  The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.”
  • “Too many people spend money they haven’t earned to buy things they don’t want to impress people they don’t like.
  •   •     •

    At the risk of getting more mail, I can’t resist ending with this: “I am not a member of any organized political party: I am a Democrat.”  — Will Rogers

 

Bobbie Lippman is a professional writer who lives in Seal Rock with her cat, Purrfect. She is the author of “Good Grief: A Collection of Stories As One Woman Journeys From Heartbreak To Healing Through Honesty and Humor” (Dancing Moon Press). The book, with all proceeds going to Rotary International Foundation, is available on Amazon, at JC Market in Newport and directly from Bobbie, who can be contacted at [email protected]


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