Bobbie's Beat: Ever wonder?


We all wonder about stuff, and I am usually wondering about something, but last week I ran out of things to wonder about. Just then a couple of readers, whose minds are also a bit strange, sent in some thought-provoking questions, so here goes.

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Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions, while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?

Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counter?

Why don’t you ever see the headline, “Psychic Wins Lottery?”

Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Why do twins never realize that one of them was unplanned?

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I don’t have any answers to those questions, but here are a few more things you might want to wonder about.

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If you attempt to rob a bank, you won’t have any trouble with rent, food or bills for the next 10 years whether or not you are successful.

Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.

The doctors that told Stephen Hawking he had two years to live are probably dead now.

A hundred years ago, everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today, everyone has a car and only the rich own a horse.

Many animals probably need glasses, but nobody knows it.

The word “swims” upside down is still “swims.”

Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you, and it just takes 75-100 years to fully work.

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

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Note to readers: Change in my email address. I have had the same one with AOL since computers were invented, and the only thing I’m wondering about today is why I was such a wimp all these years. If you are a reader who sends me mail and day brighteners, please change me to [email protected]

 

Bobbie Lippman is a professional writer who lives in Seal Rock. She is the author of “Good Grief: A Collection of Stories As One Woman Journeys From Heartbreak To Healing Through Honesty and Humor” (Dancing Moon Press). The book (with all proceeds going to Rotary International) is available at JC Market in Newport and directly from Bobbie, who can be contacted at [email protected]


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