This just might be another first. There never seems to be a shortage of subjects, thanks to readers who ask for more about my crazy cat, my hang up regarding how to hang up TP (over or under?), my take on most fruit cakes (bleh!) and then there is a sub-group of people who wonder about Waldo, my robot vacuum cleaner (11 people bought one after contacting me for Waldo’s brand name – wow, the power of the press).
Recently, readers asked about my tidying-up, de-cluttering project. Because it’s only fair to explain the first sentence, by “first” I mean the title of this column or in newspaper parlance, commonly called the “header.” It popped into my brain and refused to budge. The little muse voice in my head keeps saying, “You may never get to write a better header again, so do the story already.”
Last Saturday was what has to be called a “Major Minor Day,” and here’s why. Long-time local friends Chris and Mary Minor asked me to join them for an all-day expo in Portland sponsored by the OHSU Casey Eye Institute. This event is mostly for people with macular degeneration. Mary, who is way younger than me, has A.M.D. but thankfully not nearly to the degree of mine. Once you get the dreaded diagnosis, the disease is here to stay — in either the dry or wet form. Mary and I both have the dry, slow-moving form. There is no cure, so far, but there are helpful tools and information, most of which we learned about when we attended this expo a couple of years ago. Chris is our able, sharp-eyed driver, and the last time we trekked to the Portland Double Tree Hotel, I was wheelchair-bound following leg surgery. Chris would not let me cop out simply because I felt the chair would be extra trouble. Chris insisted it wasn’t. What a guy!
Being dog lovers, one of the highlights of our first expo was checking out the guide dogs. We laughed when we spotted one whose owner had attached a large red tail light to the rear end of his dog. This year, we looked in vain for folks with guide dogs, but not a taillight in sight.
Speaking of sight, or lack of it, we got to the expo in time to attend every program of interest to us and check out the many vendors. This free event draws hundreds of people, mostly an older crowd because young people don’t usually get A.M.D.
All in all, it was a great day. Chris and Mary are fun folks. We never run out of things to talk about, we seem to need restroom stops at the same time, and there is no arguing or whining over places to eat. Yep, it definitely was a major Minor day!
I do have to add two more thoughts: While trying to decide on a subject, an email popped in from Muriel Kirpatrick, of Lincoln City, who had never written to me before. Muriel let me know how much she enjoys this column and that she also has A.M.D. Thanks, Muriel, for the extra push in helping me choose what to write about this week.
And now, for Jay, and all of you who hope for humor, here is a joke told to me by a very special blind friend who ran, with the help of sighted volunteers, The Radio Talking Book Network in Omaha.
• • •
A blind man with a guide dog was in a large department store. Suddenly, the guy started swinging his dog in big circles over his head. The horrified store manager ran over to the blind man and demanded, “Sir, what are you doing? Can we help you?”
“No thanks,” said the blind guy, “we’re just looking.”
Bobbie Lippman is a professional writer who lives in Seal Rock with her cat, Purrfect. She is the author of “Good Grief: A Collection of Stories As One Woman Journeys From Heartbreak To Healing Through Honesty and Humor.” The book, with all proceeds going to the Rotary International Foundation, is available at JC Market in Newport and directly from Bobbie, who can be contacted at [email protected]